i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
