carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
