whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
