He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
