found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
