Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
