I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
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So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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