1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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