I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
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i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
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She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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