i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
