remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I cockslap morals
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
