This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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