My hand turned me down
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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