so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
worst night to have a conscience
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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