can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
