You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
