Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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