No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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