Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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