you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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