god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
