I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
