YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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