she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
