Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
