chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
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He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
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Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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