i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
