is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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