I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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