does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
