Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
