Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.