Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole