ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
