I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part