dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
