I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
