O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
