There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
