Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I faked an abortion last night.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
vagina is talking i cant
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
