Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
