there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
