I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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