you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
