Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
