R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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