Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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