I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
