I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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