There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
