I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
