When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize