i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
