farters have to be the big spoon...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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