I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
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no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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