still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
