if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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