At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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