I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
