that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
