After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
