Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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