All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
