Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
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