I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
