now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
