So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
