We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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