If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
