this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
